The Lay-off Rollercoaster
I’ve been working with a lot of people who have been laid off. Well sorry, let me clarify. I work with a lot of HIGH-ACHIEVERS who have been laid off.
And I’ve noticed that there is a cycle that they all go through:
Phase 1: Shock
They’re so used to waking up and having a tight schedule to follow that on day one of no job, there is utter shock. What just happened? What does this mean? Will I ever make money again? Will I ever be hireable again? All the scary thoughts that bubble to the surface that puts us into shock.
Phase 2: Tasmanian devil
Once the shock has worn off, they’ll immediately fill their calendars up to the brim to “stay busy”. Maybe I’ll learn French, and take cooking classes, and meet with everyone I’ve ever known, and start a DIY project, and, and, and….
Phase 3: WTF am I doing?
Once you’ve fully exhausted yourself from doing THE MOST, you wake up from the stupor and think wtf am I doing all this for?? I’m SO tired. I need a real break.
Phase 4: Travel
Then you’ll book a trip. To get out of your house and into a new environment where you can really disconnect and be with yourself/experience something new.
Phase 5: Self-care
Once you’ve gotten a taste of treating yourself well, you’ll get hooked. You’ll start focusing on your self-care practice hard. Realizing that you through yourself completely into that job and that you deserve more than to ignore yourself for the benefit of a company.
Phase 6: I think I’m ready
Once you’ve thoroughly shown yourself some love, then you realize OK, I think I’m ready to start looking again
Phase 7: WTF do I even want to do??
Then you realize that you thought you knew what you wanted to do but then you start looking on LinkedIn and everything sounds kinda horrible or horribly boring.
Phase 8: I need help.
You recognize that this experience you just went through has really changed you and that going for jobs you would have previously no longer seem to fit or be aligned. But who is the new you? What do you stand for? What are you good at? What do you want?
I’ve seen this play out many times over the last 6-8 months.
And it’s at Phase 8 that I pop into the equation. The getting help part.
Phase 9: Invest in yourself
You invest in a coach in the hopes that it will help you find yourself, and what you’re mean to be doing next
Phase 10: Begin the journey
Kinda scared but mostly excited. Doing this with a coach and a group feels way more doable and fun than doing it alone.
Phase 11: Finding yourself
Coaching casts a light into the patterns and behaviours that got you to where you are at, and helps you paint a fuller picture of who you are: your work self as well as all the other passions and interests that you have that you enjoy
Phase 12: Action
Then you start taking action. Test driving new hypothesis about what’s possible for you. Get outside your comfort zone and going for things you’ve always wanted but were too afraid to do.
Phase 13: Opportunity
Action leads to opportunities. By taking courageous actions aligned with your truest self, doors open and opportunities start inviting you in.
Phase 14: Choice
Then you choose. You choose the opportunity that best aligns with who you are today, and the future self you are building towards.
Phase 15: Commit
Then you commit. You take the leap. You do the damn thing.
It’s a classic story. The protagonist is at the top of their game and then boom, an inciting event happens to throw them off course. They fall into shock and crisis and then start to bounce back with some impactful self-discovery. Finally on stable ground, they pioneer their own path to something that is authentic to them. And then they post it on LinkedIn and it gets 200+ likes. The End.
We’ve all seen it. But living it is much harder.
If this is you right now, know that it gets better. That the story always turns out. And that you just might need a little help and support at some point in the journey.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This was always a hard one for me, but every time I dip my toe into that vulnerability pool to ask for help, I am always rewarded for it. Every time.
