Week 35 - Significance

Wanting to feel significant is a primal human need. It’s in ALL of us. When I say “significant” I mean that we want to know that we matter - that our existence matters to someone. Tony Robbins mapped out our 6 core needs as humans and significance is certainly one of them

The problem is that we look to fill that void of significance in a way that will never work. Many of us look to fill it with achievements (titles, money, awards, jobs, houses, etc). The problem is that we’re trying to fix our internal problem with an external solution. There will never be enough achievement that will make you feel significant enough because there’s ALWAYS going to be something else you can achieve. There is always MORE. And someone will have always achieved more than you. It's inevitable.

But I get it, some of these achievements in fact make us feel significant for a little while (when I hit my annual number in sales, I felt pretty damn significant at the time). But it’s never long lasting.

Something I thought about this week as I pondered this topic is about how it’s often others that make us feel like we matter. I think about the people in my life that when I talk to them, they make me feel like I matter because they value my input and they genuinely cherish the time they get to spend with me. That makes me feel like I matter. And that has ZERO to do with how much that person has accomplished. It has all to do with how that person is present with me, actively listens and takes a genuine curiosity into my life.

And I remember working at Salesforce, LOTS of people with LOTS of achievements there. And the only people I remember are the ones that made me feel like I mattered when I spoke with them.

So my point is, we’re all trying to accumulate achievement to make us feel like we matter, but what we really need to be chasing is the ability to be present with others, to actively listen, and to be genuinely curious. It costs you nothing to practice this, and creates a deep sense of significance for the other person. Because the point in life isn’t to achieve a bunch of things that you can show off. The point of life is to make an impact on others. What greater impact is there in the world than to make someone feel significant. Which is exactly what you want to feel as well and when you make that impact on someone, guess how you feel? Like YOU matter. Everyone wins.

Stay present. Actively listen. Remain curious.