Week 33 - My own imposter syndrome
This past week I’ve felt MUCH better than the previous one. I’m learning that it takes about a week for my body and mind to adjust to new surroundings (even when it's supposed to be “home”).
I’m learning to be more gentle with myself and give myself the space to acclimate. This is vastly different than how I typically operate. I kinda feel like superwoman most of the time, thinking that I can jump in head first into most things with minimal friction. But as I am on this journey of creating my own life and success, I consciously am trying to de-program my brain from the corporate lifestyle that I used to live. No breaks. Always busy. No grace. Just keep going. Be productive always. I hated that life.
So now that I have no rules, I get to play around with what my new structure looks like. I do believe that all humans thrive in structure, and I’m sure some of you are anxious just reading this because the thought of having no external structure molding your life is almost TOO freeing. I’m playing around with what my new structure looks like and I’m friggen pumped that I get to do that.
So moving forward, knowing that it takes about a week to fully adjust, I can make better decisions for myself. For example, I’m done with trying to do it all and see it all when I’m traveling. I want to stay in one place for an extended period of time and not move around every week. It’s way too chaotic for me personally.
Anyway, just a little update for y’all. But what I really wanted to talk about today is a bit of imposter syndrome I unknowingly faced recently {cue gasp}
I know, it can still happen! It’s usually pretty micro moments for me. But even micro moment can have a big impact.
So 6 months ago I got it in my head that I wanted to scale my business. Things were going so well that I knew if I could just make some tweaks, I could serve more people and have more impact. So I sought out some support to help me. I spoke to 2 different coaches who focus on helping female coaches scale.
One was very matter of fact, no bullshit, you’re in or you’re out type of attitude. I honestly loved it. I learned so much from her in just a 15 minute call. I was super inspired. Her program was $10k.
The other coach was fun, very personable, knew her shit, and gave some grace in terms of making the decision to move forward. I felt safe leaving the call. Her program was $3k.
How I ended up making the decision was based on who I believed myself to be. I thought about a $10k investment and said to myself ‘I don’t think I need that, maybe I would do that later on when I'm more established but not now’. Even though the $10k woman was fully vetted by a friend of mine who used her and is killing it.
So in the end I chose the cheaper option. The safer choice.
I think you can guess where this is going. Ultimately I haven’t gotten what I really wanted from the investment that I made. The program has helped a little (maybe $3k worth) but not dramatically. And I’m kinda pissed. Mostly with myself. Because when I think back to how I made that decision, I didn’t believe I was worth a $10k investment. I thought I was worth $3k. And so I sunk to that level of myself instead of the uplevel that a $10k investment would have forced to me take. I was hit by imposter syndrome!
I see this happen all the time with clients, they choose a coach based on price and then don’t end up getting much value or transformation because it’s proportional to the investment. It’s psychological too. If I’m making a smaller investment, I also don’t take it as seriously as a more expensive investment.
Ultimately, I think when it comes to investing in yourself, go BIG. Because otherwise why are you even investing anything if you’re just trying to get a small shift. You can probably do that on your own with the help of a conversation with a friend or mentor. It doesn’t serve you to play small thinking that it’s going to have big results. It’s like the difference between reading a book about how to play the piano and actually playing the piano. You’re going to get way better if you just actually play the piano.
So here’s my question for you this week:
Where are you selling yourself short?
What bolder (probably scarier) decision would serve your future self more right now?
